The Defunct and Soon to be Defunct Theme Park Attractions that I MISS

Defunct attractions

I turned the big 27 a few weeks ago and I have been through a lot of changes. I find amazing restaurants, enjoy them, and then in a few years they change their menu or shut down. I have just learned to accept that the older I get the more change will happen. My favorite restaurant now, probably won’t be my favorite restaurant in a few years. The only constant in life is change.

With the philosophicals out of the way, I want to talk about the theme park attractions I loved while growing up, unfortunately, they are defunct now.

Dueling Dragons/Dragon Challenge - This attraction is kicking this list off due to my feelings on it. I never looked around much during the Lost Continent days which I am kicking myself today because of how awesome it looks. This ride was my first big roller coaster. It is also one of the few inverted roller coasters that I have ever been on. It was my introduction for some of the crazy rides that I would ride over the course of my theme park journey. This was the one that started it all and I miss it. The ride that replaced this one is incredible but some days I do miss Dueling Dragons, or Dragon Challenge.

Jaws- Another casualty from Harry Potter, this was one of the most unique rides in the park. It was HUGE. I love having the team members involved in the attraction and I believe this one is one of the best for that. It was a classic of Universal, but I understand why it got the boot. This ride took up a big enough footprint to have the entire Diagon Alley placed where this ride was housed. I love Diagon Alley, it is one of the coolest lands of any theme park… I wish we could have both.

I think these are the only defunct attractions I miss at Universal Orlando Resort. Which is bizarre. I thought I would have more. A few mentions.

Rockit- This attraction was an incredible backdrop to Mardi Gras concerts and had a fun gimmick of a 90 degree climb which scared me but also had music involved.

Shrek 4D- I loved this attraction. The preshow was funny, the show had the fun cheesy effects of a typical 4D attraction. I remember grabbing the little rat tail so it wouldn’t tickle the back of my legs.

Disaster- I get sad on Fast and Furious. This was a unique attraction.

Moving back to Disney. They are about to tear down some attractions I love.

Dinoland USA- Dinosaur was one of my favorite attractions and a scary one for Disney which made it unique. I am exhausted by the new rides where there is no peril. Everything is just one note, happy happy happy. The backstory for this land was a creative way to put a few off the shelf attractions and carnival games. They leaned into the tackiness and made it apart of the story. I had good memories of the tacky rides. Primeval Whirl was a fun ride, with some decent amount of theming for an off-the-shelf attraction. It was the only mouse coaster in Orlando, so I loved it. It is being replaced by IP throw up with loose ties to animals. Animal Kingdom needs the extra E-ticket attractions.

Great Movie Ride- Should have been the last ride to close in the park of HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS. The ride could have been updated, the movies be updated to give a wider appeal but this ride is awesome in my book. It had so many show scenes you would drive through with your own cast member guide. Once again, a relic of the past. The cast member guide actually changed during the ride; this was incredibly unique. The ride was in the Chinese theater, and it should not have changed. They have plenty of mediocre attractions and space to put Mickey and Minnie in a different location.

Lights Motors Action- Hollywood Studios used to be an incredible park that had a cohesive theme, from the top attraction to the bottom. Similarly to Universal Studios Orlando, these parks are in a weird state of flux. No identity. This show had some incredible stunts, and was a good show to watch, even on a hot day.

M.G.M. Tram Tour- Another relic of the past was the cheap version of the tram tour in Universal Hollywood. It went through a scene, fairly similar to Disaster and would travel through the backlots of MGM showing off some incredible props from movies. I love the old Disney attractions.

Rock n Roller Coaster- Making this list just now has me feeling validated about my feelings on Hollywood Studios. This is the next fun attraction of my childhood being replaced by a Muppet roller coaster to try and limit the backlash received by closing Muppets 3D. This was another ride a part of my personal history. This was my first roller coaster that went upside down. Watching the stretch limo launch out of that back alley with Steven Tyler screaming in your ear is pure nostalgia. I love a ride with a soundtrack, and this coaster has some good ones. The only issue is the ride time, and how bad the single rider line is.

Test Track- The preshow, the physical sets, and the crash test made this attraction amazing. Once again, the new one is a watered-down interactive attraction.

Maelstrom- Just another unique attraction that got hit by the IP buzzsaw. The Frozen ride takes a TON of people out of the way of Epcot but there was plenty of space to put it elsewhere. Maybe even the Magic Kingdom would be a better fit. What was great about Maelstrom was that it was typically a five-minute wait and it was a great boat ride with physical sets. Seeing the boats nearly fly off the edge was always a neat addition to the land. Frozen Ever After is also just a weak attraction. I thought Frozen would get a quality ride based around it but it is just a little disappointing. Also the queue is not made for a huge attraction so there are so many down and backs and when the ride first opens a lot of the queue is outdoors. It is hard to decide if this is a pro Maelstrom or just anti-Frozen.

People Mover’s Voice- Now entering. Space Mountain. I can hear it in my head now. It was so much more unique than the happy go lucky voice now.

Splash Mountain- One of my favorite rides at Magic Kingdom was thrown out to be replaced by a one note corporate mandated water-downed attraction. The ride is still fun but it isn’t nearly as fun as it once was. I remember being scared to go in that Briar Patch. The drop was so much more intimidating.

Snow White Scary Adventures- Another unique dark ride with the creepiness level turned up a tad more than the typical happy Disney dark ride. I get jealous of Disneyland with the amount of dark rides they have in that park. They should have never gotten rid of this one.

This list ended up being very long. I just miss that nostalgia on the older more unique attractions the theme parks used to pump out before it was always about screens and IP.