Ranking the Orlando Theme Parks

Ranking The Theme Parks of Orlando

Orlando has some of the best theme park destinations in the world. From Disney World to Seaworld, they each have their parks that can provide a great vacation for families.

Seaworld— This park’s Achilles heel every time I go is the operations. People walking in quick queue because there is no greeter. No grouper on the ride platform so it is just a free-for all. Time between ride dispatches are extremely long, leading to lines moving extremely slowly. Rides and shows closing randomly throughout the night. Went to the July fourth firework show here and it got awkwardly delayed and canceled due to wind. I remember there is a video of my phone of them cancelling the show and I pan the camera up to see a flag not moving at all in the “high winds”. This was after waiting 20 minutes for them to fire. They have some fun festivals. The Howl-o-Scream is just underbudgeted nightmare fuel. Going from HHN to this event is one of the biggest shocks. They do have some fun concerts. I saw Jesse Mccartney and Sean Kingston here.

Hollywood Studios—I am not a Star Wars Guy, and a third of this park is Star Wars. Dining is unique at certain places. The Sci-Fi dine in, and 50’s Prime Time Café are both fun options to eat at. Tower of Terror is my favorite attraction at this park followed close by Rise of the Resistance. The ride lineup isn’t terrible at this park, but the capacity is. This park is my least attended park on a given year by a wide margin. Not much of a repeat draw like festivals or having attractions I can just jump on. Most of the year the wait times for all of the rides I want to ride are over 45 minutes. The one exception being Smuggler’s Run, and I think that is one of the worst rides in Orlando.

Universal Studios—This park is stuck in flux. It is a park that has no identity as it has become a park with random IP thrown around the grounds. What used to be fun recreations of different cities with great rides about how movies work, as turned into IP simulator land. The worst offender is the newest land in the park, Minion Land… The festivals this park have are awesome. During the Halloween season, this park easily becomes my favorite park in Orlando. Halloween Horror Nights, is always the best place to be in Orlando during September and October. The Mardi Gras event is also fun with the parades and the concerts which used to include some bigger artists. The rides are older here but they have some charm like Men in Black, E.T. and the Mummy. The E-ticket attraction is the Escape from Gringotts which is a fun ride, in Diagon Alley which is the best land in the park. This park is also brought down by lousy dining options, and is a simulator slop land.  Once Rip Ride Rockit’s replacement comes in, maybe this park will improve even more.

Animal Kingdom—They got rid of Dinosaur…. My baby… Dinoland USA was one of those fun lands to stop into on the way to Dinosaur. With it being gone, it puts more pressure on the other attractions, and there just isn’t enough action in this park, attraction wise. It is home to some pretty good dining, but the ride lineup is shallow. I love Expedition Everest, Kiliminjaro, and Flight of Passage but those three are the only ones I will ride consistently at Animal Kingdom. I do love looking at all of the animals. A zoo mixed with a theme park is fun to go to every once in a while.

The last four are tough to rank. I think they are extremely close.

Magic Kingdom—This ride lineup is one of the best in the world. It is filled with classic attractions, and a few E-tickets. It is also under huge development where a new land, and another ride will show up soon. Just in Fantasyland there are so many restaurants and attractions. Philharmagic, Carousel, the tea cups, Winnie the Pooh, Seven Dwarves Mine Train, the Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, Small World, Meet and greets, Cinderella’s Royal Table, Be our Guest. Eight attractions in one land while Animal Kingdom has six rides. Magic Kingdom is finally dipping its toe in some thrill rides with Tron Lightcycle Run, which is an E-ticket that can hold up against a lot of rides in Orlando. Although short, it is a heavily themed and thrilling ride. This park is just full of all sorts, and it also includes two fun events, for an extra charge of course. Haunted Mansion, Pirates, and Space Mountain are my three favorite attractions to get on in this park.

Epcot—All of these parks can go in different orders depending on the day. I love Epcot, I think it is a strong park. The Test Track update was a homerun in my opinion. Adding in Guardians on top of that which is my favorite ride in Orlando. The festivals that happen throughout the year is a constant draw for the Orlando locals and they do draw me in. After my annual pass, the $25 in snack items for me and my fiancé to share turns into a cheap date night. Living with the Land, Grand Fiesta Tour, Soarin, Spaceship Earth and even Figment to some degree, are all fantastic supporting attractions that I can typically wait 10 minutes or less for. The dining in this park is great, it has a few of my favorite quick services, Coral Reef is also a highlight, and the festivals always pack a punch. It is a year-round new experience which makes it a repeat draw. During the summer there are plenty of places to take a break from the heat, with some amazing shows. My favorite being the American Adventure, I think they did a great job with that show.

Epic Universe—Maybe its recency bias, I don’t care. This park is incredible. I have been critical in the past about this park not maintaining the attractions enough, but I have high hopes for them to get in their groove. The food options at this park might be tied with Epcot as the best in Orlando. The quick service options just rise to a level that not many parks can reach. Pizza Moon, Oak and Star Tavern, the Atlantic, the Mac and Cheese Bowls, the meat bowls of Berk. They are all strong options to eat in this park. The way you get transported into the individual lands is awesome, and the detail is vast. It is home to a great ride lineup with Stardust Racers and Monsters Unchained being standouts. Monsters Unchained typically being less than a 10-minute wait just defies the natural order of the theme park world and I absolutely love that about this park. My favorite ride is almost NEVER the shortest wait in the park. Good food, great rides, and incredible theming. This is a strong park, and it’s just the beginning.

Islands of Adventure—This has been a strong park for years now. It has consistently been home to the best rides in the world. Spiderman was amazing back in its day (still strong today), Forbidden Journey is extremely popular ever since it opened, Velocicoaster, and Hagrid has done a great job anchoring this park experience. They are two of the strongest rides in Orlando and they exist in the same park. Dudley Do Right, Jurassic Park River Adventure, and Popeye’s Bilge Rat Barges are the best water rides in Orlando. Jurassic Park River Adventure is of course my favorite. Strong IP that delivers a strong attraction, even disregarding the age surrounding this attraction. Seuss land is a fun option, home to the most iconic bathrooms I can think of. It is also a great place to view the rest of the park surrounding the lake or on the High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride. Grinchmas is a strong show when it is Christmas time, and I will always watch this show every year. Marvel Super Hero Island has some fun rides. King Kong is one of the strongest 360 simulator rides where there are a few physical show scenes at first, a decent queue and an amazing animatronic at the end of the ride. The food is something that drops this park down a few pegs. I know they proudly display a banner in front of Mythos as the best theme park restaurant….. It’s not. I love the theming in there though. Overall it is a very strong park, and I think when they fill out the empty land that is the Lost Continent, this park will jump up to be the unquestioned best in Florida.