The Worst Rides in Orlando Theme Parks

Worst Rides in Orlando

I did a best rides of Orlando list a little while ago, so it is only right to get a little negative about our lovely rides here. The further down the best rides list I got, the more my preferences began to show up. I am thinking this will be similar.

Mission Space—Claustrophobic on top of a simulator with a tiny screen. I haven’t even done the orange mission, but the green is awful enough as it is. I haven’t ridden this attraction in at least 15 years, and I will probably continue to walk past it. Not only because this ride sucks, but also because it is sandwiched between two of the best rides in the park.

Tomorrowland Speedway—Another attraction that I typically walk past due to the great options in Tomorrowland. To spend my time smelling that gas and driving three miles an hour while looking at no scenery is very low on the Disney magic scale.

Kali River Rapids—I think this is truly a casualty by comparison. I look at Popeye’s Bilge Rat Barges in Islands of Adventure and it suffers greatly in comparison. The Kali River Rapids is a short ride, with not much to look at. I think that is a solid theme of this list, trying to entertain guests while giving them nothing to look at. The only thing that this ride has to look at is a burning tree. It also soaked me before we walked around Disney Springs for two hours when I was younger which was no fun. After further research this attraction is around 5 minutes long compared to a 6- or 7-minute experience from Popeye. I guess Popeye is able to load up on the visual candy that it feels so much more of a fuller experience even without a drop.

Navi River Journey—Nothing happens. If this was a five-minute attraction, it might be a decent ride because that’s all this attraction deserves. It is empty space and vibes with one animatronic.

Smuggler’s Run with a bad pilot—This ride can be cool if it doesn’t make you sick, but when the pilot is struggling, it can give me bad motion sickness.

Swiss Family Treehouse—I decided to add this one late. It is an awful attraction. I like the idea of walkthrough attractions. BUT. I only like those walkthrough attractions when there is something to actually look at. This attraction doesn’t have much of a draw, it almost doesn’t even exist as I make my way through Adventureland. Walking up a lot of stairs, getting stuck behind slow walkers, and it being a queue to nowhere puts this on the list.

I want to beat up another attraction of Disney, but I am not finding any. I am not counting the various flat rides because they know what they were doing when they put the Magic Carpets of Aladdin. It wasn’t a ride with effort put into it, it was a way to eat some capacity. Buzz Lightyear was going to make this list, but after they refreshed it, I like it a lot more now.

I guess I can beat up Universal now.

Fyre Drill—One of the newest members to join this list… I can appreciate how they had to work with a tiny footprint, but it is just an absolute nothing burger to me.

Race through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon—I never watched talk shows growing up. The most exposure I would get was Conan clips on Youtube. This was a part of the egregious screen attraction dark times that Universal fell into the 2010’s.

The Simpsons Ride—I was never able to ride the Back to the Future attraction because of this clown. For that, I will never forgive it. I also just get sick on this ride, it is way to much simulating for a simulator. The best simulators are the one that does the least amount of simulating like Soarin’.

VillainCon Minion Blast—It was fun doing the team member previews for this attraction… This was the only new ride that opened during my working stint at Universal. My main location for work was right next to it close to the Bourne Stuntacular. It was easy to just walk there when I was off. This is a standing attraction… One of the worst rides that Universal has had.

Fast and Furious Supercharged—This list wouldn’t be complete without its crown jewel. This is one of the largest swings and misses that Universal has ever made. This franchise has tons of potential for a thrilling and fun attraction with great music. What was put together was a slow-moving dark ride 3D simulator where the chaos is all around you. It doesn’t make me sick watching it, but it is so chaotic that I have no idea what’s going on. This was one section in the iconic Universal Studios Hollywood tram tour, so it just confuses me that they decided to make its own standalone attraction in Florida. This ride is hated so much that it has been closed to make room for HHN houses more than once, it closes early, has five-minute waits routinely, and finally has a doomsday clock on it within 10 years of opening. It also doesn’t help that the ride it replaced was just classic Universal, an inside look at how movies were made. Now, the way with most theme parks that are behind the times, it is a mismatch of different IP with thrown together attractions for brand synergy. Universal Studios Orlando has been one of the biggest offenders of this as it hasn’t been able to become a good park yet.

You think it’s bad, I think it’s unique. Here are a few attractions that were almost objectively hated during their tenure.

Stitch’s Great Escape—This attraction was beat up all the time for how bad it was. It would top almost every list of worst attractions at Disney World. I had a soft spot for this attraction. Lilo & Stitch was one of my favorite movies from Disney, and this attraction might have been annoying to some, but it was in line with the character.

Journey into Imagination with Figment—Another character that annoys the rider, and the main character in the story. Figment is the most popular character of all of Epcot. He has popcorn buckets made for him. Merchandise with his name and face plastered all over, and people LOVE it. His ride is almost always at a five-minute wait. It isn’t a great attraction, but I don’t hate it. It has some fun parts, especially when the screens explode and the song hits the chorus. “IMAAAAAAGIIINAAATION”

The Orlando theme parks have more good rides than bad, but it has been fun to beat up on it a little bit.