Halloween Horror Nights Ranked by a Wimp

HHN houses by Intensity

I’m a wimp. I don’t watch scary movies. I don’t typically do Halloween events. It took me until I was 20 years old to go to Halloween Horror Nights. I thought it was crazy to spend money on going to be scared. My brother always talked a big game about always wanting to go, but he dragged his feet, too. He still watches all houses on video before he goes at 29 years old. I still wear earplugs, but we still go yearly now. Perhaps you just want to walk through the easy ones. I don’t blame you, here is my list of Halloween Horror Nights houses by intensity, ranked by a wimp. 

Goblin Feast

This is a silly house, maybe they were going for scary, but I think they wanted it to be an easy one. It typically has some of the shorter waits in the event, but it is still very fun! The Irish jig music as you walk in, the goofy goblins. It didn’t have very many creative scares, but it was still a fun house. Not too scary. 

Ghostbusters

There are a few scares in this house but once again, a very fun house. It has so many details for you to look at, and if you haven’t watched the movie, I would recommend watching it because it is incredible with how similar it is. Not many scares will get you, which makes it one of my favorite houses of the year. 

Museum 

This probably gets my pick for the most boring house from this year. I still have fun when I walk through it but not much happens. The bar is raised so high for Universal’s original houses that when one doesn’t measure up, it is definitely noticeable. Not very scary and not very fun. Still a good house though. Just not as good. 

Monsters

This house was one of the harder ones to rank. On my run throughs I hit it during a cast change, or I was either behind the scare of in front of the scare. I got hit with a couple, but they didn’t scare me. Some boo holes were empty. Still, the intensity could have improved if I got hit with a few more scares. At the moment, it is in 7th place. Definitely does not top some of the others on this list. 

Slaughter Sinema 2

This is one of my favorite houses of the event and it isn’t overly scary. There are some moments that got me, but a lot of them were just plain goofy as that’s what they were going for in some of the movies. Different set pieces change for every movie you enter as you travel through the fictional movies in this house. It wasn’t overly scary though. There are mummy strippers in this house if that can allude to its goofiness.

Major Sweets

This one had some fun scares, but the premise is hilarious how the kids go crazy and start attacking you. Even interactive sections in this house. After this house, there is a jump of intensity.

Monstrous

This one was really creepy to me. The huge set piece with dead birds surrounding it wasn’t great to look at. There are some scary sections in this house, but another jump in intensity is coming so be prepared! 

Triplets of Terror

Another one that is so creepy. The more realistic houses always get me the most and there is just so much death in this house that it’s a bit unsettling. It is also extremely long as it is a soundstage house. Some really rough scenes to look at, too. 

Quiet Place

Me and aliens have never gotten along. Also, me and Loud sounds have never gotten along. This house also has a portion of complete darkness and many areas where scares surround you on both sides. It is one of the quieter houses until a loud sound effect happens like a crying baby which activates the alien scares that usually happens on the other side. I was ready to get out of this house. 

Insidious 

This one is typically one with the longest line and I haven’t been able to work up the courage to face the line and the demons of this house. I have seen it on video and there are lots of scares where you are surrounded, and it lasts forever. Like last year, with the Exorcist I don’t love demon houses. As a wimp like me, maybe skip it like I have. Eventually, when it is a walk-on, I will do it but I haven’t done it yet, making it the most intense house of HHN33 and one that wimps should avoid. 

Even though fear isn’t my favorite emotion I still love the HHN event. I go every year and multiple times a year and will go for as long as I can. If you are scared like me, too scared to even go to the event, give it a try with your friends. Typically, that would always raise my courage meter. That pesky peer pressure.