Always Strive for Improvements in your Life

Improving

I have always been fascinated with self-improvement. To realize natural skills given to me, to work on them or grow new ones. It is very appealing to me.

There are some people that have tons of natural ability, everything they try they succeed at, and then there are the rest of us. Some things I can have some natural ability but a majority of things I get humbled very quickly. Surfing, golfing, swimming. Not very naturally good at those things. Pickleball, I was able to get decent very quickly. Much better than other people when they first started. That is truly one of the very few items where I was just naturally good at. Naturally good plus I found it very fun which made me want to play it all the time.

The most fun I have though is when I absolutely suck at something, and I can see small improvements that I get to celebrate those milestones as I continuously improve into bigger and better things. When I was training for a marathon, I remembered the three-mile run specifically. I hadn’t run that far possibly ever-as I usually capped out at two. It was difficult, and I remember that completely. Which is funny as I was able to run 5 the next week, and then 7, and then 9, and continued up until the final run of 26 miles. It was difficult, but one of the most rewarding days of my life. That feeling of working hard, failing, improving to hit a goal was just incredible. I started off terrible and just to see the improvement was one of those life journeys where you can’t help but get a little emotional when you are on mile 25 easily running towards 26.

This feeling is similar to what I feel in golf. To hit a goal of an amateur golf tournament would be probably the best feeling I have ever felt just to see that progression. I am horrible right now. It’s so bad, I can barely make pars. Barely hit straight. Not have confidence in my swing when people are close to me playing on a different hole. No confidence in my yardage. Not confident in my swing. But that moment where you hit the ball pure, or hit a long putt, or hit a nice chip in. Wow. What a feeling.

School has been a mixed bag. I started off strong. No need to work hard at all. Which bashed with my parents. Until I got to more advanced college courses and I had many hard nights and days. I was struggling with what I wanted to do. Did I really want to go into the medical field? Not really. But I was in Anatomy and Physiology because my brother did it. It was a struggle. Struggling with growing up, identity issues, career goals, different career goals calling me. I was being pulled all around. As of lately, seven years into college, my experience has improved. From being the kid always late to class, unprepared, turned into a kid that came to class after he got off work, and still was prepared. And mostly be on time. I was able to push myself harder and was able to not get 0’s in classes. Even though my transcript has a couple F’s and a couple W’s, I have been finding my stride and really improve. Currently I am on track for A’s and B’s this semester which is, odd. Something I haven’t done in several years.

The improvement in anxiety has been fun to watch as well. There have been days, weeks, months where I would experience crippling anxiety for a majority of the day.  I felt anxious in my home, at work, and at school. I couldn’t outrun it. I was stuck. I decided to try and get help. Find out what works for me. I gave therapy several chances and a couple people worked, some didn’t. At one point I would go to therapy every week sometimes twice a week and my therapist appreciated that I actually put in the work. Did what they said. I wanted to improve. My mom has had anxiety her whole life on most days and I didn’t want to end up like that. I wanted to get a hold on it early. Alleviate it. There is one section of anxiety that has shown up more as I have just never been a good talker to people. I have had bad social anxiety ever since I was younger. I would get so bad before I had to speak in front of my class, and it kept me away from getting a lot more experiences. I have skipped multiple hangouts just because I would get it, and I wouldn’t want to put myself through that. I am pretty good at one on one, but I do tend to remain silent in group settings. Just how I am. It is a weakness that I do hope one day I can turn into a strength? It was never so apparent how different we all are when I went on vacation with my extravert friend. He would brighten so many people’s days just by talking to every person he came across. It seemed like a few people weren’t really interested in talking but he played the numbers game, and most people would respond very positively. It shocked me how random strangers could be so positive if you were a light of positivity in their life. Two extremely different people. I’m okay with silence. He can’t stay silent for more than 30 seconds.

The last thing I want to improve is consistency. This is something that has been literally up and down with. How do I juggle all of these things without some performance falling off in other areas. I have experienced a lack of consistency in school, sports, relationships, new business ventures I kept starting. It was all extremely high highs and extremely low lows. After my marathon training finished up, I was just so proud of my consistency in that. I think a little before I turned the ripe age of 26 is when I began to show progress in consistency. I started writing these small little blogs every day. I started exercising daily. I started to walk miles at work. I started to be more consistent in schoolwork. I still have my battles with this. Where I go days without working out (I have been consistent about walking more, I am almost averaging 10,000 steps a day.)  Where I go days without doing schoolwork. Go for days without creating new things. It will always remain a battle though. Life is tough sometimes.

Just a few things I want to improve in. It’s good to know yourself and know your weaknesses. When those weakness improve, it is a great way to feel extreme pride in yourself.